Office romances are typically a huge no no…right? But the reality of the situation, is we can’t help who we like or when our hormones decide to be like, “Oh, heeeey. Guess what? Remember that person you thought was really nice for making those copies for you yesterday? Yes, well…now…you want to bang them.”
So, what happens when you find that you have a crush on someone in your office? If you’re anything like me, you like to take a quick peep around the office to see who you’re working with, and if there are any potential suitors.
I’ve started three jobs in the past YEAR and I can tell you I like to pick my victims…um, I mean…identify the aforementioned individuals from the get go.
The original job I left before moving on to these next THREE only had one hot guy in the company and he was married. While that “fact” was unfortunate, it didn’t stop most of the female employees from gawking at him and his butt carved by the Gods. So we would throw pens on the floor, knock things off his desk, or try to walk behind him in the hallways while silently muttering, “Damn boy, where’d you get that booooooty?” Let’s just put it out there. Sexual harassment exists, and it makes total sense. Five days out of seven, 9 hours of out 24, you spend your time on lock-down with these people. Sometimes, things are going to get a little weird.
So I leave there and move onto my next job. Not a ton of people I can get excited about except one tall drink of water who worked in the marketing analytics department. I’m not sure why my mind automatically goes to “who can I date,” except that for some weird reason I’m always looking at people like, “are you my next victim? Whoops, I mean a person of interest! I swear!” My only defense is that I guess despite being a 27-year-old woman, mentally I’m a 15-year-old boy. Tall drink o’ water quit and I followed a few weeks later.
The next job I took was at a small company. While interviewing I picked out my company crush right away. I can mention his name, because he’ll never read this. Marco has a huge personality, which I was totally attracted to from the get go. It didn’t hurt he had dark hair, olive skin, big white teeth and amazing blue eyes. Oh, and did I mention he’s hilarious and speaks Italian? Oh…no?
It is because of him I realized that sometimes, people get objectified at work. It’s probably because we spend a ton of time with these people, so if by some weird chance you learn to really like them, what can you do? I’m not pro or against office romances. I think it’s a matter of what you can handle. Can you handle if it goes wrong, if you see them flirting with others, ignoring you at the office, etc?
Sometimes it definitely doesn’t feel great when the situation is reversed, but I can appreciate it. At the same job I’m talking about where Marco and I worked together, there was another gentleman whom I won’t mention…but will tell you his story.
For whatever reason, he was very touchy feely…would make comments about spending time together and was also the reason that half of my office found my stand-up comedy video and watched it at work. All he did was Google me really, but no one else was taking the time. Sure, I felt mildly uncomfortable but I can appreciate where he was coming from. To be honest, he may not have liked me all that much outside of work, but inside the work place I was one of the only younger available women.
Regardless, all my focus went to spending as much time downstairs near Marco as possible. It wasn’t until I was talking to a coworker who say, “Aye, Conyo, friend…he is estupid. Lie-k way too dumb for jou. He ees very nice, pero…nada up top my friend.” (I loved her and her amazingly thick accent)
That can happen too.
You may not be suited for this work crush, but what can you do? You’re not thinking logically. All you know is you spend a ton of time with them, they’re sexy, and you’d like to take your relationship to the next level…ya know, swipe the desk clean and get down to business “next level.”
I’m currently working in a place riddled with attractive men. While that should seem like a plus, it’s damn near impossible to get work done, BUT does make work more fun. In addition, it doesn’t help that again…I’m a fifteen year old boy.
The first week I started working here, my friend and I were leaving my apartment building. The only other person in the elevator was a guy who was trying really hard not to listen to us, but couldn’t really help but overhear this conversation…
Friend: “So, it’s a good place, huh? Nice place to work? Lots of guys?”
Me: “Oh, hells yes. This one guy is tall….super mysterious…and super tall. I’d climb him like a jungle gym.”
My friend is laughing, and the guys ears have definitely perked up as a smirk crosses his face.
Friend: “DUDE….are you a dude? I swear, sometimes I’m not sure.”
Me: “What? Sexual harassment exists and I totally get it, because he passes my desk and I think…man…if I didn’t like my job so much I’d sexually harass the hell out of this guy!”
Guy in elevator (who is laughing and shaking his head): “Wow. You ladies…wow. Please, stay this awesome always?”
It’s really difficult, because the office is a great place to get to know someone.
- You see their style (how they present themselves)
- You get to know their demeanor (laid back, aggressive, funny)
- You see their work ethic ( are they driven? Do they continue to succeed?)
- They have to show up every day. No canceling like what can happen with a “date,” as it’s pretty much mandatory! (Winning!)
There’s also another side to it though, and that’s the difficulty of trying to make anything work with someone…from work.
- If it goes wrong, the water cooler is going to be the most awkward place ever
- Maybe they are flirty and chat with many women at work (and you can’t get all crazy on people you work with. Not cute in general, but super offensive at work)
- You run the risk of gaining a reputation
- People may know all your business about “the business” if you’re not careful
The way office romances have been described to me in terms of go for it versus don’t go for it is that unless you’re absolutely sure something can come from it…do not get drunk at company happy hours or holiday parties and make moves on co-workers. Not worth it for a little boom boom pow that you can get anywhere! ( And being Monday’s gossip!)
I’ve been at this job four months, and the more I learn about people the more I eliminate them as an office crush, which sometimes bums me out. I love intelligent men…borderline nerdy…or weird. The weirder you are, the more likely I’ll basically propose to you right away. I am glad though that I’ve been able to eliminate them, because again…it makes work easier for me.
General Outline of Guys
1. Power Player: He’s an executive. Smart. Connected. A little bit adorable.
Reason crush died: He’s been involved with several other employees, clearly very comfy with that thought. Essentially, it appears he “travels through women,” and I much prefer to find one “place” and “set up shop.” (How’s that metaphor working for you?)
2. Artistic Tom: Artist. Music lover. Borderline hipster, but rides the line right where it’s acceptable. Love, love love an artistic man and in this case, Tom can’t be any better. Anyone who is cultured is right up there with those nerdy men. Watch yourselves!
Reason crush died: Owns a cat.
3. Mayo Man: Half Israeli. Beautiful smile. Friendly. Tall. Dark. Pretty much perfect…
Reason crush died: Oh wait, it hasn’t. He’s the kind of guy you want to get to know, want to figure out what’s wrong with them…and do some other things that probably aren’t appropriate to talk about. Seems like a genuinely nice guy (stay tuned; will figure out at the Holiday Party in a week!)
4. Funny Pants: Ok, this one I can’t really defend. There is something undeniably mysterious about this dude. It’s hard to tell if it’s arrogance or just mystery. Tall. Nice hair. Gives me a lot of crap…like…a lot…at work. Teases me. Not sure if it’s playful, or just being who he is.
Reason crush died: Again, can’t explain or defend why this hasn’t died. He’s younger and I’m not really interested in pursuing anything, but he makes me nervous. When he’s around I get stupid, and do things like “duck face.” I can’t help it; he just does something to me!
The bottom line is that everyone looks.
If you think your co-workers don’t check you out, size you up, and try to figure out what your potential might be outside work, you’re wrong. So what do you do? Do you go for it, try to push and see what could happen between you two? Or, do you let it be, go about your work and just enjoy the scenery? Either way, remember that we may feel like we’re adults and should be able to do whatever we want…but in reality, an office romance can wind up in gossip, heartache, frustration and if you’re high up enough…a lawsuit! (Fun, fun, for everyone)
Tread lightly when it comes to office romance, and be sure it’s worth it before you swipe the conference table clean and go for it.