Honestly? Do you guys read this thing AT ALL? In all seriousness, I wish I knew how to NOT sweat the small stuff, how to let things go (or how to “let go and let the spaghetti monster in the sky” deal with it) and how to move forward.
All three of those things are tall orders!
Even though the small stuff can feel “small,” sometimes the small stuff pushes its way up a hill. Then, some other “small” event happens that catapults that BIG ball of SMALL things down “Shitstorm Hill” and suddenly, you’re up to your heart in crap.
I truly believe that all anyone wants is to feel “okay.” To not worry so much about what others are doing, what your exes are doing, or how other people’s actions (although they shouldn’t) influence how we feel about ourselves and others alike.
I’m no expert, I’m just a girl who has gone through enough craptastic situations to learn a little somethin’ somethin.’ Have I learned that much? Meh. But here’s what advice I can offer for the BIG three questions above.
How to Not Sweat The Small Stuff (For real this time)
1. No Worries, Mon – Stop occupying your brain with things you can’t control. If you don’t make space for the worry, the worry has nowhere to live. Take your brain power back by kicking those worries to the curb and evicting them from your “brain mansion” (they’ll have to sleep on the streets with other people’s evicted worries).
Did we learn nothing from Van Wilder? “Worrying is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it gets you nowhere.”
2. Live happily…people hate that – Nothing pisses people off more than seeing you NOT sweat things. They want you to be so consumed with anger, hurt, despair (whatever the emotion may be) that you’re too busy trying to “maintain” life instead of showing life who’s boss. (For the record, it’s you.)
3. Seriously, stop being so damned serious – Life isn’t always going to be easy, fun, painless, or super-duper fabtastic. Take a minute to think about what you’re “sweating” right now. Job sucks? It’s just a job. Get a new one. Find what you want to do and live passionately. Significant other probs? Guess what…life is too short to make bad casting decisions. Surround yourself with people who rock. Awesome begets awesome, suck begets suck. Family troubles? Forgive them. Family is family. One day you might need them to forgive you. Things just not going your way? Buck up. Karma might be a mean, mean, bitch but she’s pretty good about bringing good to those who work hard and are kind.
Be fair. Be open. Love hard. Live well. Stress less. Have more fun. Take time to appreciate the small things instead of sweating them.
How to Let Things Go (According to my therapist)
Just kidding about the therapist. She’d actually be pretty pissed to hear me say any of this. If she were real. She’s a doll I dress up and keep in the corner of my room to talk to on occasion. Creepy? Surely. Effective? You bet. Free? F’in right, doggy!
I wish I knew the secret to making this happen. Probably one of the worst qualities I possess is being unable to let things go. I hold onto things. Sure, I might “forgive you,” but I damn sure don’t forget it. Seriously, I spend a lot of time trying to figure out how to forget things, because I think that’s the secret to forgiving. Also, being stupid. That helps. KIDDING!*
*I’m not kidding.
Here’s what I’ve learned…joking aside.
1. Lose 10 lbs Instantly, Without Working Out – Really. It’s like taking one big life-size laxative. The “Lap Band” of emotions, if you will. Should I keep going? I won’t. I promise. Point is, letting things go only benefits you. Holding ON TO things benefits no one. Do you think the person who you feel has angered, hurt you, begrudged you, is sitting there eating their insides out over what you perceive they’ve done to you? They’re not. Even if you’ve decided to “cut them from your life” they’re still very much there, monopolizing thoughts that could be better spent on something worthwhile. Like what is the mystery in mystery meat, and why has NOBODY figured it out already?!
2. Take Sorry at Face Value – When people apologize, believe them. Try your hardest to do that, at least. I’m not saying to believe they’re sorry for them. Believe them for you, so you can put the past to rest. Be thankful that they’re at least a good enough human to see value in apologizing. Whether they believe it or not, whether you believe it or not, they said it. Thank them. Then breathe, stretch, shake and let it go.
3. Appreciate the Past, Look Towards the Future, Live in the Present – Everyday something new will happen. Whether it’s good, bad, indifferent, etc…what are you going to do? If you don’t learn how to let things go, you’ll wind up pushing those “small things” up that hill until there’s an event that sends the BIG list of SMALL things down “Shitstorm Hill,” remember? I’m a big proponent of “everything happens for a reason.” Just because you can’t see why it’s happening now, doesn’t mean it won’t eventually show itself for what it is or what it was (when the time is right).
How to Move Forward
SWEET MOSES, I wish I knew the answer to this. I really do. I wish I had some magical anecdote and I could help the world. Well, first I’d make millions of dollars, THEN I’d help the world. KIDDING!*
*Again, I’m not kidding.
I totally get why the chick from Titanic wanted to use that ray to erase her memory in the movie, “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.” I do! Who wouldn’t like to instantaneously forget whatever thought, emotion, feeling is acting like a squatter in your mind? NO one told those thoughts they could stay there. BUT you were vulnerable…you left a door cracked slightly open and now…those bad or sad thoughts dwell there. Time to call the thought po-po on those mofo’s and EVICT them!
“My plan is to erase you completely, as if you never existed at all.”– Chick from Titanic in ‘ESOTSM’
1. Act More Like Chuck Norris – It’s your life and no one else’s. Take control of your thoughts that are telling you that you have NO control and teach them a thing or two about what happens when they step into your brain’s dojo. Seize your brain. Seize your thoughts. Break any thoughts into dusk that try to stop you from living happily, because they suck…and ain’t nobody got time for that.
2. Surround Yourself With People Who Don’t Suck – Not to be repetitive, but (again) awesome begets awesome and suck begets suck. There are some people who will walk, talk, and act like a friend…but are not your friend. Your goal is to figure out the good eggs from the rotten ones and only keep those who ROCK in your life. Take a look at the pack you run with. Are they mainly miserable? Or, do they radiate sunshine and happiness? You don’t have to go extreme, but finding a good middle balance is probs best.
3. Be Un-apologetically, Uniquely, YOU – Nobody knows you better than you, so start listening to yourself. Follow your gut. Follow your heart. Follow the yellow brick road to see the wizard…
Wait a minute…wrong schpeal. Let’s try this again…
Respect yourself. Celebrate yourself. Empower yourself.
Now that’s more like it!
There are no right or wrong answers on how to get over things, how to leave things that deserve to be left behind, or how to keep the past where it belongs…in the past. All you can do is get out of bed every day and make the best of what you have. Do something small every day and soon you’ll find that all the small things you’ve been building on have led you to a mountain of happiness and strength and more importantly, led you to YOU.