Tag Archives: Relationship

Top 10 Things Keeping You Single (And Stupid)

21 May

 

I thought I’d drop some knowledge on things that are pretty much guaranteed to keep you single…forever. It’s not rocket science, it’s just the science of chemistry (see what I did there?) and being comfortable with who you are. That being said, here are the top 10 things keeping YOU single.

 

1.  Persistent on finding perfection

Newsflash kids, no one is perfect, despite what Disney® and flicks involving Katherine Heigl would like to have you believe. Here’s the key to finding happiness: figure out the components of a relationship that matter most to you. If finding a guy with a huge…salary is really important, maybe examine why that is and how that could be holding you back.  Men, if you’re looking for a woman who has a huge set…of standards, maybe you should re-examine if the standards are “real” or if they’re just high maintenance. The fact is, everyone is looking for their Adriana Lima orChris Evans. It’s not about finding perfection, because as it turns out…no one is perfect. Instead of focusing on someone who is perfect, restructure your priorities to find someone who is perfect for you. OR, get used to the idea of living with a lot of cats named “Nipsy” and dying alone. Either way.

2.  Relax and stop over planning

You’ve met someone new. Yay! You’re one step closer to not becoming the aforementioned cat person. With a new experience comes extensive excitement. Try to refrain from getting overly excited and making plans for the future. I’m not talking wedding, honeymoon, or baby plans (although don’t do that either…seriously), but plans for your birthday three months from now or even your cousin’s briss in two weeks. Calm down. Let things happen slowly and naturally because the reality is you can’t plan for anything. The second you start planning ANYTHING, if you listen closely, you can hear the Universe laughing it’s ass off and quietly whispering… “Game on, mofo.”

3. Alcohol + Communication= Recipe for FAIL

We’re adults here, right? Most of us enjoy a drink or twelve every now and then. Similarly, we live on our phones and find texting or Facebook the most pertinent form of communication. Although reading things like Texts From Last Night orDamn You Auto Correct seems really hilarious, it’s not as funny when you’re on the inside. In addition (and more importantly), it can scare the crap out of someone you’re barely speaking to when they receive a drunk text professing your interest in them when they barely know you. It makes you look short-bus special, immature, and like you can’t control your alcohol or emotions. “No…but like….seriously…you’re the prettiest girl at work, I swear. I SWEAR. I’d…lick your face if I was your dog.” Not cool. Stop it, or get used to repeating this phrase in multiple languages: “Table for one, please?”

 

4. Stop making excuses

Do I really have to talk about “bitch-assness” again? Stop being whiny, sad individuals. Reality is, if they want to see you, talk to you, hang with you or be your significant other…chaaaances are…they’re going to make it happen. Your friends are tired of hearing you whine about why the barista from the coffee shop isn’t into you. “But he gave me signs! He gave me EXTRA FOAM, I TELL YOU!” In addition, if someone is flirting with others in front of you, making out with other people, or treating you like you’re just another one of the guys/gals…holy cow, get the hint people. Read this sentence carefully and preferably out loud: HOLDING ON TO THOSE FROM THE PAST, OR IMAGINARY RELATIONSHIPS PREVENT YOU FROM MOVING FORWARD TOWARDS SOMETHING REAL.

5.  Make some single friends

We’re at that magical time in life where the majority of our friends have significant others. While that doesn’t mean we love them any less, it’s necessary to keep a core group of single friends who are still willing to go out. I don’t mean “go out and look for tail,” so much as I mean just…go out. FACT: when people start a relationship, they want to spend all their time together. They want to learn each other in more ways than one, and friendship can often take a backseat. You have to continue to love those friends and be happy for them, but start to find out what’s going on with other friends who are still available and ready to join things, go to events, or even just spend a night out eating dinner/having drinks and talking about the single circuit.  Also, it’s totally ok to get annoyed that your relationship friends answer the phone every single time their significant other calls (which is every five minutes), just swallow the bits of sadness and think about dusting off that old friendship “black-book.”

6.  Chiggity-check your standards

Having incredibly unreasonable “Disney®-esque” standards, or Victoria Secret model standards aren’t exactly fair…but having NO standards is pretty unacceptable as well. Sweet lord, how many times can I repeat this? How about I continue to repeat it as many times as it takes for people to get a clue or two? Nobody (and I repeat NOBODY) likes someone who will just “take anyone.” I was talking to a guy friend once and things got flirty. I said, “Well, I don’t think I’m your type.” He responded, “Sure you are. I like anything.” Not even anyone…anything. All desire for him? Dead. Done. Be realistic. If you’re a partial lagoon creature, stop judging people based on THEIR looks. If you’re a little bit hefty, stop commenting that the person of interest isn’t “fit enough.” Fitness, looks, beauty, and sweet abs FADE. After all that stuff is gone, what do you geniuses think you’ll be stuck with? Essentially…a really nice piece of art. Something really great to look at, but you can’t really talk to it…or have it comfort you in the way you’d like. Sure, it doesn’t make jobs and the paint is kind of fading, but at one time…man that thing was a hot piece of…art. Reality can be an eye-opener. Know your worth and don’t settle for less…but if you hang on a high horse, it could be the only steed you’re able to ride.

7. Input overload

Friends and family can be great, but ultimately there’s only one thing you should listen to…your gut instinct. This is a little two-fold. On one hand, people care about you and want to give you their perspective. When you’re in a new relationship or experience, it’s easy to “put the blinders on” and roll with it. “Well, she was married before…but he just couldn’t accept she is a highly sexual person.” That’s what she tells you, and what your friends and family hear is…she’s a filthy, filthy whore who probably cheated.

In scenarios like that, taking advice/perspective/insight/input is a good thing. Now, on the OTHER hand…misery loves company. If your single friends hear you say, “Well, he is really working on it. He doesn’t want to lose me, he’s just been hurt before,” regardless of whether that’s true or not…they want his head on a stake. Not necessarily because your guy isn’t a GOOD guy, but because he has now separated you from the pack…and they’re pissed.  They are now a lone wolf. It’s not that they don’t want you to be happy; it’s that they don’t want you to be happy if they’re not happy too. Ahh…friendship. In the end, decide whom you can trust and rely on to provide you with non-biased, objective feedback when you require it. Be selective with the information you process, so that your brain isn’t trying to take fifteen people’s opinions into consideration, thus putting you one step closer to spooning something else besides your body pillow at night.

8. Leave some mystery

If you tell the person you’re talking to everything there is to know about you within the first few times of meeting, what’s left? Try to staple that huge suck hole on your face from ruining your chances right off the bat. Your new prospect doesn’t want to hear about the time you went to the bathroom on the floor of your ex’s apartment because you were so drunk you thought it was the toilet. They don’t want to hear about the time, you walked in on grandma showering and that’s how you identified she had melanoma and saved Thanksgiving of 1997.  I know you’re excited by the “newness” of the person, but c’mon…c’mon…pull it back a little. Discuss the little things. Little things can plant the seed that grows into talking about more serious things, silly things, etc. As much as you want to say, “I’m an upfront person. I like to lay it out there!” Sometimes it’s too much, too soon. You shouldn’t NOT be yourself, but should ease the other person into you slowly. It’s their first time with you, so be gentle.

9.  Snappin’ ass bitches, sleep with sad wishes

Snap judgments are the quickest way to both end something that could be potentially awesome, and make people think you are a crazy person. People come from all sorts of experiences, some good and of course some bad. Try not to drag your previous experiences into the mix. It makes for a bitter batter and the relationships tend not to rise to their full potential when that happens (how are these baking puns doing?). Remember that your NEW prospect isn’t any of your ex’s. Yes, it’s great to heed warning signs…but don’t live in your head. Read this line, over and over out loud preferably (we’ve done this exercise before!): IF YOU’RE NOT READY TO ACCEPT THE POTENTIAL OF GETTING HURT AGAIN, YOU’RE NOT READY FOR SOMETHING NEW.

Listen. Learn. Live. Love. AND let things go.

10. Stop seeing being single as a “problem”

People who feel like being single is the equivalent of leprosy make me want to vomit. Isn’t it ironic that the one thing we complain about more than anything is being alone? Then we’re finally NOT alone and suddenly just want freedom. FACT: YOU MUST BE OK WITH BEING BY YOURSELF BEFORE YOU CAN SUCCESSFULLY BE WITH ANOTHER.  So many good things are associated with being single. Need a few? How about not answering to anyone? Go out as late as you want, do what you want, don’t have to deal with someone else’s family (who are probably bananas anyway, and like to fart in public places), you get the WHOLE bed to yourself…and the best? Married people want to BE US. It’s not a bad thing. Be happy being you and the rest will come.

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Sugar Daddy’s, Boy Toys, or Something In-Between?

21 May

“Knock, knock…it’s love. Are you ready?”

Everyone has their type, right? If you have to label it, it’s who you’re attracted to instantly without even thinking about it.  I like to claim I’m super predictable with my choices in men; someone who’s over 6’0” tall, dark hair, dark eyes…what my friends and I refer to as, “tall, dark and sturdy!”

Although I claim that I like those men, I usually wind up only dating men who carry a couple of those characteristics. Tall? Definitely. Dark? Not always. Sturdy? None of your business.

The only other major consistency is that they’re always older than I am. In high school, college and even now, I’ve stuck to dating older dudes. Recently, there’s been an influx of “chance meetings” with some really incredibly genuine younger guys, which has me wondering if maybe it’s time to a leap out of my comfort zone.

Ol’ G’s V. Young Gents

Sure it’s all about preference, but let’s peep some REAL pros and cons of dating Ol’ G’s!

Pros:

1. Let’s keep it real: Homeboy knows what to do in the bedroom. They’ve had experience; they know what works and what doesn’t and can typically afford to take a moment to listen to what the lady wants.  Taking their time and ensuring that we reach our “final destination” is something they take a lot of pride in. Also, (unlike the Young Gents) they’re less shocked someone wants to sleep with them and therefore are in less of a hurry to “get to business” on the off-chance the lady changes her mind.

2.  Cultured: Older men are perceived as more worldly, cultured and put together. We assume they are well-traveled, know what’s going on in the world and can show us things we’ve never been exposed to in a whole new way. They like art, they’ll see musicals with you or hit up a concert without feeling like it’s “too cool.”

3.  Accomplished: Here’s where a lot of Ol’ G’s come in first. A woman in college is looking for a guy who at least has a “plan” of where he wants to go and how he wants to get there. A woman post college is looking for a guy with the drive to implement that “plan” and show initiative and maturity. These Ol’ G’s are already older than you, (whatever age that is) which implies there’s a better chance their shit…is together. No one wants to be standing behind someone their entire life pushing them uphill and begging them to do something with themselves.

4. Patience, My Dear Watson: Ol’ G’s have patience, yo! They are more apt to let you be you, because you’re younger than them…and they’re into it. On top of that, they are perceived as mentors almost. Ol’ G’s can be there while you grow and help you through those rough spots, because they’ve been there and been through it and won’t freak out when you freak out. In addition, the notion is that they’ll take care of you, look out for you, and cherish you in a way that most Young Gents won’t (because they still think they can do better…suckers).

Cons:

1. If we’re keeping it real: Sometimes, the motion in the ocean is outdated. There’s nothing fun, there’s really no passion and they just do what they’ve been used to doing the past 1,000 years that’s “gotten them by.” Furthermore, they are a little over impressed with themselves when it comes to the bedroom, but also super insecure. More often than not, you can hear “So…how was it?” “Was it ok?” “And how do I rate, by comparison?” come out of their mouths not ten seconds after you both collapse. Also, be aware…older CAN be sexy, but the same way men get all judgmental about things “not being in place,” newsflash men…it happens to you too.  Even at 30, some men sport the ultra-sexy “frog butt” and matching set of “moobs.”

2. Damaged Goods:  As men get older, they collect experiences the same way women do. The thing is, no matter what people say about men not doing the same thing that women do (going a little bit cray cray), they are liars. If men have gone through a marriage, divorce (or two), cheated, been cheated on, it seriously does wonders to their psyche as well (what a shock, they’re human!). Some will be nice and tell you up front that they have “issues” which is great, because it affords you the opportunity to decide for yourself whether or not to continue on. However, most Ol’ G’s have a knack for letting you get about three to six months in before releasing the full levels of crazy. “Oh, your mom wants to basically be in the room with us while we have at it? Cool!”

3. Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire: With the Ol’ G’s you have to be careful. Those who were scorned, like above, tend to try to “play the field.” The thing is, most of the ones who want to play the field have been sitting on the bench for a while. Most of the need to be this “pimp persona” comes from them feeling old and the desire to feel young and reckless again. So, although your friends are saying things like “you let him do WHAT with you? Oh…that…is gross.” He thinks he’s David Beckham’s lost twin. If this persists, let that splendid super-genius free and see what kind of “hot tail” he picks up. It’s great for a chuckle or ten.

4.  I see your future…and it looks bleak:  There are two types of Ol’ G’s. One wants to settle down right away and build a family. Maybe six months in, things are THERE. The alternative version is more closely related to #3 above. He doesn’t want to commit, because he feels he doesn’t have to. Or, he’s terrified…like the rest of us. He’ll have you move in, then freak out, then move back in…then show you a ring…then when you break up, he’ll sit in your face and say, “you know…I never really saw us getting married. I think that’s what the problem was.”

 

Young Gents:

Often seen as “not together” or immature, can Young Gents sometimes be the better choice when it comes to dating?

Recently I’ve had the good fortune of meeting two young men who sparked my interest. One in particular, and I’m about to essentially explain why. As a matter of fact, he’s the reason that I thought about writing this. Ordinarily, I’d immediately discredit him because he’s younger…but boy, oh boy, have I been pleasantly surprised.

Let’s get to it!

Pro’s:

1.  Tabula Rosa:  Here’s the best thing I’ve learned about younger guys thus far; they’re not jaded, angry, and cynical or automatically expecting the worst. They’re genuine about their actions, their excitement and passion for life and having a good time with all they do. Most of them have had one, maybe two serious relationships in their entire life, thus making them open to new experiences without having a set “type.”  Plus, on a selfish side…you can teach them/mold them into what you’d like them to be without them catching on until it’s too late ( shhhh…don’t tell them).

2.  Are we still keepin’ it real? How are things with a young guy in the boudoir? Can’t say. Don’t know. But I’d expect that it’s probably not as smooth as with someone older. However, they know all the new moves, and I’m sure they’re excitement to go at it…and at it…and it…is probably an epic pro. Again, they’re probably just happy to be doing it on a consistent basis. BUT can they “man up” and be as aggressive, passionate and eh…fun as someone with a few more years of expertise?

3.  Livin’ in the fast lane: Ol’ G’s can be boring because they’re balls deep in “real life.” What’s great about the Young Gents is that they’re up for anything, anytime, anywhere. You want to go rock climbing at 7pm on a Wednesday? DONE! You want to hang out on the couch or go see a movie and just chill? NOT…A…PROBLEM. They can hang home and play the Wii or go to a bar or 12 and live large for the night (because they still have their parent’s credit cards).

4. They care. For real:  Maybe this is too close to #1, but it’s so true. There’s something about them that’s so purely genuine and real it’s almost alarming. You’re not sure whether they’re being sarcastic, or they’re REALLY that nice. Ol’ G’s who text you “So excited to go out tonight!” are probably mocking you. When a Young Gent says, “Can’t wait! It’s going to be a lot of fun,” they are serious and really mean it.

Cons:

1. Training: Sadly, it’s both a positive and a negative to have the opportunity to help mold and shape a young mind. On the negative end of the spectrum, no one wants to date someone they have to teach how to approach a woman.  When younger, it’s difficult to decide if you’re putting out good vibes or getting them back. Sometimes it’s hard to identify whether a Young Gent is flirting with you, interested and just shy…or perhaps being friendly (on a friend level).  It can be a little hard to tell, and embarrassing and frustrating when you as an older (CLEARLY more mature woman…right?) can’t decipher the vibes yourself.

2. Yup. Still keepin’ it real:  Women that like men…like MEN. When out with a Young Gent this weekend, my friends and I were explaining how sometimes we just want someone to take hold of us, throw us on the bed and make things HAPPEN. OOH-WEE, it just got warm in here! He was floored. He had no idea. And then we sort of patted him on the head and continued on about our evening. Young Gents who can bring their “A” game? Well, they’d be unstoppable.

3.  They’re in the fast lane, we’re on the right shoulder: The reality is, we’re older than them and we don’t party as much or as hard. Sometimes we want to be lame. Actually, more often than not I find I’d prefer to spoon my dog on the couch, curl up with a good movie and bucket-o’-wine and hang. I don’t want to fist pump. I don’t want to put on a tiny dress and speak in abbrev’s all-night. “LOL, I’ll BRB, KK?”

4.  Were those your feelings? My bad:  Sometimes in being young, you become a bit overly sensitive. That’s a fact. Call it naiveté, call it being genuine, whatever.  It’s a toughy because you’re in two separate places in life probably. Whether he’s just coming out of school, fresh-faced and ready to greet the world, or just getting his feet wet in the real world…you’re a seasoned vet, and have to be gentle with how you make your approach. The typical “aggressive nature” of someone going after a Young Gent can be misconstrued and can often send them running the other way (in fear).

Regardless of what route you choose to date, take in to consideration that there is no right or wrong. Connections are hard to fight, so if you find you have a real connection with someone…isn’t it better to go for it and take a chance then to let a silly thing like age get in the way? It’s nearly 2012, take some chances, live out loud, and let love in…whether an Ol’ G or a Young Gent!

Office Romances: Are You Crazy For Your Co-Worker?

21 May

“Wow Tim, that’s sooo interesting. Now, TAKE ME!”

Office romances are typically a huge no no…right?  But the reality of the situation, is we can’t help who we like or when our hormones decide to be like, “Oh, heeeey. Guess what? Remember that person you thought was really nice for making those copies for you yesterday? Yes, well…now…you want to bang them.”

So, what happens when you find that you have a crush on someone in your office? If you’re anything like me, you like to take a quick peep around the office to see who you’re working with, and if there are any potential suitors.

I’ve started three jobs in the past YEAR and I can tell you I like to pick my victims…um, I mean…identify the aforementioned individuals from the get go.

The original job I left before moving on to these next THREE only had one hot guy in the company and he was married. While that “fact” was unfortunate, it didn’t stop most of the female employees from gawking at him and his butt carved by the Gods. So we would throw pens on the floor, knock things off his desk, or try to walk behind him in the hallways while silently muttering, “Damn boy, where’d you get that booooooty?” Let’s just put it out there. Sexual harassment exists, and it makes total sense. Five days out of seven, 9 hours of out 24, you spend your time on lock-down with these people. Sometimes, things are going to get a little weird.

So I leave there and move onto my next job. Not a ton of people I can get excited about except one tall drink of water who worked in the marketing analytics department.  I’m not sure why my mind automatically goes to “who can I date,” except that for some weird reason I’m always looking at people like, “are you my next victim? Whoops, I mean a person of interest! I swear!” My only defense is that I guess despite being a 27-year-old woman, mentally I’m a 15-year-old boy. Tall drink o’ water quit and I followed a few weeks later.

The next job I took was at a small company. While interviewing I picked out my company crush right away.  I can mention his name, because he’ll never read this. Marco has a huge personality, which I was totally attracted to from the get go. It didn’t hurt he had dark hair, olive skin, big white teeth and amazing blue eyes. Oh, and did I mention he’s hilarious and speaks Italian? Oh…no?

All true.

It is because of him I realized that sometimes, people get objectified at work. It’s probably because we spend a ton of time with these people, so if by some weird chance you learn to really like them, what can you do? I’m not pro or against office romances. I think it’s a matter of what you can handle. Can you handle if it goes wrong, if you see them flirting with others, ignoring you at the office, etc?

Sometimes it definitely doesn’t feel great when the situation is reversed, but I can appreciate it. At the same job I’m talking about where Marco and I worked together, there was another gentleman whom I won’t mention…but will tell you his story.

For whatever reason, he was very touchy feely…would make comments about spending time together and was also the reason that half of my office found my stand-up comedy video and watched it at work. All he did was Google me really, but no one else was taking the time. Sure, I felt mildly uncomfortable but I can appreciate where he was coming from. To be honest, he may not have liked me all that much outside of work, but inside the work place I was one of the only younger available women.

Regardless, all my focus went to spending as much time downstairs near Marco as possible. It wasn’t until I was talking to a coworker who say, “Aye, Conyo, friend…he is estupid. Lie-k way too dumb for jou. He ees very nice, pero…nada up top my friend.” (I loved her and her amazingly thick accent)

That can happen too.

You may not be suited for this work crush, but what can you do? You’re not thinking logically. All you know is you spend a ton of time with them, they’re sexy, and you’d like to take your relationship to the next level…ya know, swipe the desk clean and get down to business “next level.”

I’m currently working in a place riddled with attractive men. While that should seem like a plus, it’s damn near impossible to get work done, BUT does make work more fun. In addition, it doesn’t help that again…I’m a fifteen year old boy.

The first week I started working here, my friend and I were leaving my apartment building. The only other person in the elevator was a guy who was trying really hard not to listen to us, but couldn’t really help but overhear this conversation…

Friend: “So, it’s a good place, huh? Nice place to work? Lots of guys?”

Me: “Oh, hells yes. This one guy is tall….super mysterious…and super tall. I’d climb him like a jungle gym.”

My friend is laughing, and the guys ears have definitely perked up as a smirk crosses his face.

Friend: “DUDE….are you a dude? I swear, sometimes I’m not sure.”

Me: “What? Sexual harassment exists and I totally get it, because he passes my desk and I think…man…if I didn’t like my job so much I’d sexually harass the hell out of this guy!”

Guy in elevator (who is laughing and shaking his head): “Wow. You ladies…wow. Please, stay this awesome always?”

It’s really difficult, because the office is a great place to get to know someone.

  1. You see their style (how they present themselves)
  2. You get to know their demeanor (laid back, aggressive, funny)
  3. You see their work ethic ( are they driven? Do they continue to succeed?)
  4. They have to show up every day. No canceling like what can happen with a “date,” as it’s pretty much mandatory! (Winning!)

There’s also another side to it though, and that’s the difficulty of trying to make anything work with someone…from work.

  1. If it goes wrong, the water cooler is going to be the most awkward place ever
  2. Maybe they are flirty and chat with many women at work (and you can’t get all crazy on people you work with. Not cute in general, but super offensive at work)
  3. You run the risk of gaining a reputation
  4. People may know all your business about “the business” if you’re not careful

The way office romances have been described to me in terms of go for it versus don’t go for it is that unless you’re absolutely sure something can come from it…do not get drunk at company happy hours or holiday parties and make moves on co-workers. Not worth it for a little boom boom pow that you can get anywhere! ( And being Monday’s gossip!)

I’ve been at this job four months, and the more I learn about people the more I eliminate them as an office crush, which sometimes bums me out.  I love intelligent men…borderline nerdy…or weird. The weirder you are, the more likely I’ll basically propose to you right away.  I am glad though that I’ve been able to eliminate them, because again…it makes work easier for me.

General Outline of Guys

1. Power Player:  He’s an executive. Smart. Connected. A little bit adorable.

Reason crush died:  He’s been involved with several other employees, clearly very comfy with that thought. Essentially, it appears he “travels through women,” and I much prefer to find one “place” and “set up shop.”  (How’s that metaphor working for you?)

2. Artistic Tom:  Artist. Music lover. Borderline hipster, but rides the line right where it’s acceptable. Love, love love an artistic man and in this case, Tom can’t be any better. Anyone who is cultured is right up there with those nerdy men. Watch yourselves!

Reason crush died: Owns a cat.

3. Mayo Man:  Half Israeli. Beautiful smile. Friendly. Tall. Dark. Pretty much perfect…

Reason crush died: Oh wait, it hasn’t.  He’s the kind of guy you want to get to know, want to figure out what’s wrong with them…and do some other things that probably aren’t appropriate to talk about. Seems like a genuinely nice guy (stay tuned; will figure out at the Holiday Party in a week!)

4. Funny Pants: Ok, this one I can’t really defend. There is something undeniably mysterious about this dude. It’s hard to tell if it’s arrogance or just mystery. Tall. Nice hair. Gives me a lot of crap…like…a lot…at work. Teases me. Not sure if it’s playful, or just being who he is.

Reason crush died: Again, can’t explain or defend why this hasn’t died. He’s younger and I’m not really interested in pursuing anything, but he makes me nervous. When he’s around I get stupid, and do things like “duck face.” I can’t help it; he just does something to me!

The bottom line is that everyone looks.

If you think your co-workers don’t check you out, size you up, and try to figure out what your potential might be outside work, you’re wrong. So what do you do? Do you go for it, try to push and see what could happen between you two? Or, do you let it be, go about your work and just enjoy the scenery? Either way, remember that we may feel like we’re adults and should be able to do whatever we want…but in reality, an office romance can wind up in gossip, heartache, frustration and if you’re high up enough…a lawsuit! (Fun, fun, for everyone)

Tread lightly when it comes to office romance, and be sure it’s worth it before you swipe the conference table clean and go for it.

For more on office crushes, peep this amazing article that breaks down the Top 8 Types of Office Crushes from [via http://www.Jobacle.com]!

Disney World Proposal Screws Every Man, Everywhere, Forever!

17 May

 

I’m sorry to report, that this video has just screwed every man, everywhere…forever. How do you beat this video? Answer: You frieken’ don’t.

Women, do we not spend a gratuitous amount of time worried about what our proposal will be like? Will they be creative? Will my family be there? Will they be creative, or do the same old boring stuff?

“Every guy does the same thing. I’ll just get down on one knee, after a nice dinner…or on the beach….at a family dinner, right?”

WRONG.

For me, I’d love to know that you know who I am, what I like and feel like you created this beautiful moment truly for you and I. With the video here, it’s so clear this guy put a lot of time and dedication into proposing.

Here’s the breakdown of all his winning moments:

  1. He does a little pre-message to his future fiancé, explaining what he’s doing, how he’s feeling, etc. This way when she looks back, she knows how he was feeling before he went into it. Totally sweet…very endearing.  I wanted her to say yes already, and nothing had happened.
  2. He made sure everything was taped, photographed, professionally. Not necessary, but again it shows his ingenuity. Seriously. Wowsa.
  3. They’re at the happiest place on EARTH. Disneyworld! I’m probably more amped about it than most, but I love that place. To me, it’s a place where wonderful things happen and I’ve always been “that person” who is over the age of ten and still gets PUMPED to go to there!
  4. Not only does he organize this whole flash mob, he JOINS IN…he jumps in and starts dancing to “Marry Me,” and he’s a GREAT dancer. Although, even if he sucked…he’s dancing, for her, in the middle of Disneyworld. Who isn’t in love with this guy, right now?
  5. He gets down on one knee, she’s crying…she can’t even move, or remove her hand from her mouth because she’s so shocked. Perfection. After five and a half years, he managed to surprise her. That’s a serious accomplishment! What a huge win, and I honestly feel excited (jealous), proud (super jealous), and happy (OMFG REALLY?! SO JEALOUS) for this couple! Congrats!

So once again, men…with this type of stuff…oh, you’re so screwed. This guy not only tailors a proposal unique to his lady and makes it super heartfelt, but he does it at the happiest place on Earth!? Unless you can find a way to stop the internet from showing us these types of things, you better bring your “A-Game!”